From Sexless Marriage to Sex Goddess: A Memoir

In From Sexless Marriage to Sex Goddess: A Memoir, Alisa Kriegel, PhD, offers an unflinchingly intimate exploration of one woman’s journey from repression and disconnection to sexual awakening and personal empowerment. As a woman who has lived through the tides of marriage, motherhood, and self-reinvention, I found Kriegel’s account both deeply resonant and profoundly brave.

Kriegel defies conventional expectations of what it means to be a professional woman, especially a psychologist, by turning the therapeutic lens on herself. With intellectual clarity and emotional candor, she examines how early experiences of shame and emotional suppression shaped a life lived more in her head than in her body. Her childhood vow to avoid vulnerability becomes the silent engine of a marriage built on companionship rather than passion. And for decades, that seemed enough, until it wasn’t.

The memoir is rich with themes of identity, shame, sexuality, resilience, and the complicated beauty of self-actualization. Kriegel’s voice is vulnerable yet measured, balancing the raw with the reflective. She does not shy away from difficult truths: the numbing effects of a sexless marriage, the shame she carried about her own body, and the gradual erosion of self in favor of keeping peace. When her husband Robert confesses to loving another man, Kriegel’s world unravels, but it is in that unraveling that she finds herself.

One of the most compelling sections is her exploration of solo sexual discovery. Her clinical knowledge doesn’t spare her from the shame or hesitation so many women feel in owning their desires. What’s revolutionary is not that she buys a vibrator, it’s that she talks about the guilt, the awkwardness, and the internalized voices that told her she was selfish for wanting pleasure. Kriegel writes, “Pleasure is my birthright,” and in doing so, she reclaims a narrative too often denied to women of any age.

Equally poignant is her transformation through physical movement, particularly the hula hoop classes. This seemingly whimsical activity becomes a metaphor for reconnecting with the body and reclaiming sensuality. As someone who once believed that sexual confidence belonged only to the young, I found this section surprisingly emotional. Kriegel shows us that sensuality doesn’t expire; it simply needs space and permission to reemerge.

What I appreciated most was how she allowed complexity to breathe. Her anger, compassion, confusion, and courage coexist. There is no neat resolution to the end of her marriage, nor to the beginning of her new life, but there is growth, honesty, and an unwavering pursuit of fulfillment.

This memoir is not just about sex. It’s about waking up. About choosing to live fully, sensually, and unapologetically. For women who have spent decades navigating relationships, caregiving, and societal expectations, Kriegel’s journey is a powerful reminder that it is never too late to claim joy and redefine oneself.

From Sexless Marriage to Sex Goddess is bold, insightful, and necessary.