Just Do Nothing (for Parents): How to Parent Better by Doing Less

As a 45-year-old wife and mom who’s been through the full parenting rollercoaster—from sleepless nights to the teen years of closed doors and endless “I’m fine”s—Joanna Hardis’s Just Do Nothing (For Parents) was a breath of fresh, much-needed air. The title alone caught my attention. “Doing nothing” as a parenting strategy? Yes, please! But as Hardis quickly explains, this isn’t about checking out. It’s about learning to pause, breathe, and respond with intention rather than panic or guilt.

Hardis, a therapist with decades of experience, introduces the idea of distress tolerance: the ability to stay calm and grounded even when your kids are not. It’s an approach that feels revolutionary and obvious at the same time. She talks about how our instinct to “fix” everything for our children (every tantrum, every sad face, every uncomfortable silence) often does more harm than good. And honestly, that hit home for me.

One of the examples that really resonated was her take on “intensive parenting,” that exhausting modern trend where every moment of a child’s life feels like a project. Hardis describes parents who are constantly overcommitted, driving from soccer to tutoring to violin practice, and still lying awake at night worrying if they’re doing enough. I could see myself in that. I’ve been the mom sprinting from a school event to a grocery run, telling myself that exhaustion is just part of being a “good” parent. Hardis flips that script, reminding us that stepping back and letting kids navigate their own discomfort builds resilience, for them and for us.

Her writing style is what makes the book such a joy to read. She’s funny, sharp, and wonderfully human. I loved her asides about Yiddish words like “fatootsed” (meaning flustered), and how she connects those everyday moments of chaos to deeper emotional lessons. The blend of humor, honesty, and practical advice makes even the heavier topics, like how parental anxiety shapes a child’s behavior, feel digestible.

One line that’s still rattling around in my head is, “We’re not learning how to make uncomfortable moments comfortable; we’re learning how to get comfortable with life’s inevitable discomfort.” It’s such a simple truth, but one that feels revolutionary in an age of helicopter parenting and constant comparison.

If you’re a mom who’s ever scrolled through social media wondering how everyone else seems to have it together, or who’s tired of trying to be all things to all people, this book will feel like a warm, understanding friend. Just Do Nothing doesn’t tell you to give up; it gives you permission to breathe. And in today’s world, that might be the most powerful parenting tool of all.