You’re Not the Boss of Me: Discover Your Authentic Self

In You’re Not the Boss of Me: Discover Your Authentic Self, Alma C. Lightbody promises to guide me on the path to finding my inner self. She identifies fourteen bosses that I will have to name, acknowledge, understand, and stand up to before finding freedom from the pressure of living up to their expectations.

These bosses started from the minute I was born and were prevalent in my early childhood development. They influenced me in my schooling and career; they imprinted on who I show up as in my relationships—with friends, family, lovers, and myself. These bosses exist in large part because I am unaware of their control. The first step in taking back my power is to identify who these bosses are and the role they play in my life.

Lightbody offers me her story as a helpful tool to illustrate the way I may understand my soul’s message and find my way back to my authentic self. Lightbody has had some powerful teachers, so much so that she wanted to synthesize her learnings into this book and share it with others. I can tell that Lightbody has much to say and truly believes in her message; I only wish her prose had offered the source materials of these teachings beyond who she learned them from.

As Lightbody’s book is broken down into four chapters, I expected to find a step-by-step guide on how to (1) Create a map of my belief system, (2) Listen to my body, (3) Learn to accept myself, and (4) Be the choreographer of my own life. Readers will enjoy this work if they are interested in the topical understanding of all the bosses that can be reflected upon on their own later.

Readers will also find myriad questions to consider when putting in the work associated with finding their authentic self, although I would have liked more direction along the way. If the work is supposed to be ongoing, then I would have provided the “chart of influencers” at the end of each chapter, not withheld it until the end of the book. That being said, the chart at the back of the book is a nice summary of the obstacles readers must surmount to find their inner self.

Those who have struggled to authentically show up in their lives and are used to wearing a mask around others will find a helpful resource in Lightbody’s book.